I am 56 years old. I have spousal support orders against me that were made in Barrie Ontario. After 31 years of marriage, I am left with nothing but debt and even though I have been divorced for several years I am still in the courts fighting to stop this crazy train from burying me further.
My ex quit a $55,000-$60,000 a year job when I told her I wanted to leave. We divided all our property and assets at the time of separation, yet somehow, I am back in the courts arguing over unit share options that my ex signed off on at the time of separation. I paid voluntary alimony for years while we tried to agree on the details. My ex continually lies and lied to the Canada Revenue Agency and the courts. She says and continues to say she is living in poverty, even though I was paying the SSAG support amount voluntarily and now enforced by the Family Responsibility Office as per the court order. While receiving the voluntary payments she continued to live in our matrimonial home while I was paying all the bills.
For this I received no credit. The courts want me to provide her with a life insurance policy on me after my death to secure alimony, yet this was not part of our original ordered agreement and strikes me as completely barbaric. At my current age and health, the quotes I have received and provided the courts are $7000+ a month, and again I have to prove to the courts how ridiculous this is. My ex works full time now and I pay over $5500/month in alimony for an indefinite period due to the length of the marriage. For this even after my death they are looking to lock in this number for her. This is absurd. How can one force another human to take a life insurance policy for after death for alimony, especially since she already has the original life insurance policy we had during our marriage?
Also, my ex did not stay at home full-time to raise the children as she claims; rather, it was pretty much equal time. In fact, there were times my income was used to cover day care costs while she pursued her career, which she had before we got married. For the length of the marriage my highest income was $80,000, and hers was $30,000 to $55,000. She is now making well over $100,000 a year and still wants more from me and the courts are allowing it!
What is puzzling to me is I continually have to defend myself in the courts at a ridiculous cost for absolutely no reason and the courts allow it. She can make all kinds of false claims about me; for example, she has googled and presented to the courts how much the company sold for and my title as President of US operations, when in fact I am the Vice President of Canadian operations. The list goes on, but the point is that I have to defend myself all at my expense, as we all know lawyers are not free. I have to prove she is incorrect with her statements, and each time, it costs me money to prove her wrong.
I asked the courts to have her to disclose her financials and medical records to no avail. She can basically do what she wants and the courts allow it and I again have to produce document after document to prove her wrong. She cries poverty to the courts but in fact is way better off than most people. Would you say owning a Lincoln and two Harley Davidsons while living in a three-bedroom house with supposedly no partner is the life of a poor person?.
She has full-time employment plus $66,000 a year in alimony. Is this living in poverty? She is allowed to try to overturn an existing court order with absolutely no grounds and the courts entertain her request each time at my expense. She has zero grounds to bring to court and as of now after the actual court order I have spent upwards of $23,000 with at least one more round of court to go. So when I say at my expense, even if I win in court, at best I will get my court costs back at a rate of about 50% to 60%. She wins! No matter what the outcome is in court she has already won as she is hurting me financially.
The last time we were in court she said she could not afford to pay her rent because I was behind in alimony. This makes no sense as my wages are garnished through the Family Responsibility Office but the dates didn’t line up to her liking. After taking me court over this FRO issue, she then proceeded to enjoy a two-week, 5,000 kilometre motorcycle ride with her friends. Does that scream poverty?
I always believed I did the right thing when we separated. I left her to live in the matrimonial home while paying all the bills and mortgage and making voluntary alimony payments. The law states that after separation you must attempt to become self-sufficient and attempt to sustain the same lifestyle as at the time of separation. As you can see five years later, I am still in court fighting over nonsense and greed which looks like it will still not end upon my death. Given how the courts operate, how is one to move forward knowing that this case will be allowed to continue at my expense? I’m not talking only monetary value. What about the effects all of this has on my health, on my new relationship and on my sanity? There are no equal rights in my opinion and the courts absolutely don’t care about the facts, past history, and the patterns of people’s behaviour.